by Shihang

I remember that my officer commanding yelled at us one day that you will not succeed in life without the army. So, the majority of the people in the world, I’m sorry. I’m also sorry to inform my female friends, especially those off to pursue knowledge at our government’s expense, that, despite PSC’s brochures and the well-meaning words of career counselors, your slow slide into mediocrity has already begun. Unfortunately, you did not enlist to live your life by the 7 SAF core values.

But try as you might, you do not fight off the taint entirely; like phyrexis, it inevitably corrupts. When our sergeants brought our platoon to watch Battle: Los Angeles, I could not help thinking “he’s holding his gun in high alert position”, “oh my god he’s popping a grenade, I can do that” or “they’re echoing commands”. I was so engrossed by the military aspect that I almost forgot to be repulsed by the cheesy lines and the pro military plot.

And the fellow recruits. Well, hell is other people. I’m sure other people couldn’t stand me, and I definitely couldn’t stand other people. Of the three main types of recruits (pampered brats, unnoticeable and loud and obnoxious), I definitely hate the loud and obnoxious ones the most. After all, whining isn’t nearly as loud as jeering, booing, cheering, clamouring for more cigarettes etc. ad infinitum.

So, goodbye BMTC. There is no love lost between us. I’m sure unhappy time here is as much my fault as yours.

P.S. Battle: LA is a terrible movie. Roger Ebert says so.

P.P.S. Look, to be honest, I thought it was a little better than half a star. But I’m fresh from watching the SAF’s own disaster scenario pro-military short film, which was 10 minutes of proving that their sophisticated weaponry can comprehensively dominate dirt and empty buildings.